| 1 | 5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants.
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| 2 | Now they’re tenants.
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| 3 |
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| 4 | A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood.
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| 5 | The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?"
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| 6 | "I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit.
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| 7 |
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| 8 | Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands?
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| 9 | Because they're extinct
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| 10 |
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| 11 | Why is sausage bad for you?
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| 12 | Because it brings out the Wurst in people
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| 13 |
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| 14 | What has four wheels and flies?
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| 15 | A garbage truck
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| 16 |
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| 17 | Did you hear about the famous pickle?
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| 18 | He's a really big dill
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| 19 |
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| 20 | How many ears does Captain Kirk have?
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| 21 | Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear
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| 22 |
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| 23 | Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie?
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| 24 | He was too far out
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| 25 |
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| 26 | Where do bad rainbows go?
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| 27 | To prism. It’s a light sentence, but gives them time to reflect
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| 28 |
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| 29 | What did the grape say when it got stepped on?
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| 30 | Nothing, just a little wine
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| 31 |
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| 32 | What do you call a criminal landing an airplane?
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| 33 | Condescending
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| 34 |
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| 35 | How many storm troopers does it take to change a lightbulb?
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| 36 | None, because they are all on the dark side
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| 37 |
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| 38 | Why did the coffee taste like dirt?
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| 39 | Because it was ground just a few minutes ago
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| 40 |
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| 41 | What do you call a never-ending food fight?
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| 42 | All you can yeet.
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| 43 |
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| 44 | Why couldn't the produce manager make it to work?
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| 45 | He could drive, but he didn't avocado
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| 46 |
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| 47 | What's the best way to save your dad jokes?
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| 48 | In a dadda-base
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| 49 |
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| 50 | What do mermaids use to wash their fins?
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| 51 | Tide
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| 52 |
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| 53 | Who won the neck decorating contest?
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| 54 | It was a tie
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| 55 |
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| 56 | What do you call a French man wearing sandals?
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| 57 | Philipe Fallop
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| 58 |
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| 59 | How does the man on the moon cut his hair?
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| 60 | Eclipse it
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| 61 |
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| 62 | I saw on the news they arrested the worlds top tongue twister.
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| 63 | I hear he's going to get a pretty tough sentence.
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| 64 |
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| 65 | What do you call a well-balanced horse?
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| 66 | Stable
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| 67 |
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| 68 | Why should you never play poker at the zoo?
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| 69 | Because there are too many cheetahs
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| 70 |
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| 71 | Can a frog jump higher than a house?
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| 72 | Of course, a house can't jump
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| 73 |
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| 74 | Why was the whale sad?
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| 75 | Because it lost its porpoise
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| 76 |
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| 77 | Why do crabs never give to charity?
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| 78 | Because they’re shellfish
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| 79 |
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| 80 | I will find whoever stole my glasses.
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| 81 | I have contacts.
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| 82 |
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| 83 | To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you.
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| 84 | You have my Word.
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| 85 |
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| 86 | I'm so upset—my barber said he can't cut my hair any longer. He can only cut it shorter.
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| 87 |
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| 88 | 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.
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