| 1 | 5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants. |
| 2 | Now they’re tenants. |
| 3 | |
| 4 | A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. |
| 5 | The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?" |
| 6 | "I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit. |
| 7 | |
| 8 | Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? |
| 9 | Because they're extinct |
| 10 | |
| 11 | Why is sausage bad for you? |
| 12 | Because it brings out the Wurst in people |
| 13 | |
| 14 | What has four wheels and flies? |
| 15 | A garbage truck |
| 16 | |
| 17 | Did you hear about the famous pickle? |
| 18 | He's a really big dill |
| 19 | |
| 20 | How many ears does Captain Kirk have? |
| 21 | Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear |
| 22 | |
| 23 | Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? |
| 24 | He was too far out |
| 25 | |
| 26 | Where do bad rainbows go? |
| 27 | To prism. It’s a light sentence, but gives them time to reflect |
| 28 | |
| 29 | What did the grape say when it got stepped on? |
| 30 | Nothing, just a little wine |
| 31 | |
| 32 | What do you call a criminal landing an airplane? |
| 33 | Condescending |
| 34 | |
| 35 | How many storm troopers does it take to change a lightbulb? |
| 36 | None, because they are all on the dark side |
| 37 | |
| 38 | Why did the coffee taste like dirt? |
| 39 | Because it was ground just a few minutes ago |
| 40 | |
| 41 | What do you call a never-ending food fight? |
| 42 | All you can yeet. |
| 43 | |
| 44 | Why couldn't the produce manager make it to work? |
| 45 | He could drive, but he didn't avocado |
| 46 | |
| 47 | What's the best way to save your dad jokes? |
| 48 | In a dadda-base |
| 49 | |
| 50 | What do mermaids use to wash their fins? |
| 51 | Tide |
| 52 | |
| 53 | Who won the neck decorating contest? |
| 54 | It was a tie |
| 55 | |
| 56 | What do you call a French man wearing sandals? |
| 57 | Philipe Fallop |
| 58 | |
| 59 | How does the man on the moon cut his hair? |
| 60 | Eclipse it |
| 61 | |
| 62 | I saw on the news they arrested the worlds top tongue twister. |
| 63 | I hear he's going to get a pretty tough sentence. |
| 64 | |
| 65 | What do you call a well-balanced horse? |
| 66 | Stable |
| 67 | |
| 68 | Why should you never play poker at the zoo? |
| 69 | Because there are too many cheetahs |
| 70 | |
| 71 | Can a frog jump higher than a house? |
| 72 | Of course, a house can't jump |
| 73 | |
| 74 | Why was the whale sad? |
| 75 | Because it lost its porpoise |
| 76 | |
| 77 | Why do crabs never give to charity? |
| 78 | Because they’re shellfish |
| 79 | |
| 80 | I will find whoever stole my glasses. |
| 81 | I have contacts. |
| 82 | |
| 83 | To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. |
| 84 | You have my Word. |
| 85 | |
| 86 | I'm so upset—my barber said he can't cut my hair any longer. He can only cut it shorter. |
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