db / jokes.txt

5 ants rented an apartment with another 5 ants. Now they’re tenants. A priest, a pastor, and a rabbit entered a clinic to donate blood. The nurse asked the rabbit: "What's your blood type?" "I'm probably a Type O", said the rabbit. Why can't dinosaurs clap their hands? Because they're extinct Why is sausage bad for you? Because it brings out the Wurst in people What has four wheels and flies? A garbage truck Did you hear about the famous pickle? He's a really big dill How many ears does Captain Kirk have? Three. The left ear, the right ear, and the final front-ear Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippie? He was too far out Where do bad rainbows go? To prism. It’s a light sentence, but gives them time to reflect What did the grape say when it got stepped on? Nothing, just a little wine What do you call a criminal landing an airplane? Condescending How many storm troopers does it take to change a lightbulb? None, because they are all on the dark side Why did the coffee taste like dirt? Because it was ground just a few minutes ago What do you call a never-ending food fight? All you can yeet. Why couldn't the produce manager make it to work? He could drive, but he didn't avocado What's the best way to save your dad jokes? In a dadda-base What do mermaids use to wash their fins? Tide Who won the neck decorating contest? It was a tie What do you call a French man wearing sandals? Philipe Fallop How does the man on the moon cut his hair? Eclipse it I saw on the news they arrested the worlds top tongue twister. I hear he's going to get a pretty tough sentence. What do you call a well-balanced horse? Stable Why should you never play poker at the zoo? Because there are too many cheetahs Can a frog jump higher than a house? Of course, a house can't jump Why was the whale sad? Because it lost its porpoise Why do crabs never give to charity? Because they’re shellfish I will find whoever stole my glasses. I have contacts. To whoever stole my copy of Microsoft Office, I will find you. You have my Word. I'm so upset—my barber said he can't cut my hair any longer. He can only cut it shorter. 6:30 is the best time on a clock, hands down.